Thoughts About “I”
This semester students are required to write numerous essays and long form responses for the sociology and human services courses that I lead across multiple institutions. A common theme with undergraduate students and their academic writing is the overuse of the term “I”. Since most of my assignments frequently require a first person narrative the overuse of certain pronouns, especially “I” is a common challenge.
Repetition of any word or phrase in academic writing is distracting and creates a lack of confidence in the writer’s ability to convey the depth of their knowledge. This is a case where too much of any good thing (or word) is generally less and not better. The Writing Center at UNC Chapel Hill published a wonderful article titled Should I Use “I” that expands upon the potential and possible risks of using first person pronouns in general. In addition, the Dartmouth Writing Program posted an informative piece addressing the question of What is an Academic Paper that is a must read for students.
The question is not if the term “I” should be used in writing; the question is can we find a (more) relevant descriptor or word that expresses the intended thought or meaning? Using “I” in writing frequently brings a warmer and personal feel, but authors must also strive to write at level of greater depth and thought. Many times, the natural response from students is to ask “what word do I use to replace I”? Only if writing was that simple! My response supports efforts to reword the sentence (and often the entire paragraph) to make sure that the flow of the narrative is inviting and a pleasure to read.
For example, the following paragraph was donated by a student to serve as evidence of the over usage of “I” in their own writing:
Submitted Student Example
In conclusion, psychosis isn’t really what I thought it was. It is a disorder. A disorder that can be overcame and defeated with the proper treatments. I used to be afraid of being crazy. When I was younger I remember worrying if I was going to be one of those elderly people who threw things and screamed at people the way my grandmother used to. I am not so worried about that anymore. I do know that I want to help people who are suffering from this disorder. I want to help people realize that it isn’t something to be ashamed of and it certainly isn’t something they should suffer in silence with. I am hoping to take my career in a direction that works with patients who are diagnosed as being psychotic.
The paragraph above shares with readers a personal and moving account of the author’s past personal and family history as well as their very own dreams of the future written in a first person narrative. The 133 word, eight line paragraph contains the term “I” ten times. In my thinking, the use of any word this frequently in a similar size paragraph is distracting to the reader and damages the content of the written argument.
A possible rewrite of the paragraph that reduces the number of distractions might look something like this:
Submitted Student Example – Revision
In conclusion, psychosis is not what I imagined. It is a disorder; a disorder that can be overcome and possibly defeated at some level with the proper treatments. During my youth, a constant fear existed that as an adult I might grow into a person that threw things and screamed at others as my grandmother did. This fear of losing my own self in psychosis now no longer exist. Helping clients who suffer from psychosis understand that their condition is something that does not have to be shameful and that help is available is my professional goal.
My paragraph revision is only one of the many methods that writing can be modified for greater clarity. The revision was reduced to 102 words (a word count reduction was not my primary goal, only a unintended consequence of a third party rewriting another person’s work) and the number of times that the word “I” was used equaled two. Again, my intention was not to remove every instance of “I”, only to reduce the number of occurrences to create a paragraph that is less distracting and easier to read. Our goal as writers must be to keep the audience at the forefront and reduce any noise that the reader encounters during the reading of the passage.
Another long form example of using “I” with moderation is a blog post that I made about my own personal experiences starting out in the Human Services field posted on September 23, 2011. Readers will note frequent use of “I”, but an attempt was made to use the term as part of the overall flow of the piece.
One resources that is benefical to writers working on their craft is this classic:
The Elements of Style: The Original Edition (Dover Language Guides)
This post was first made on November 30, 2011. – CJE